1. GETTING A PLAN THAT WORKS
The starting point for finding a position of rest is to ask God for wisdom. His wisdom is not about empty platitudes, but is very practical, a plan which offers success in a particular situation. Of course we have to tune in to His way of thinking – His idea of a successful outcome may not be the same as ours! Our starting point is to remember that He loves us passionately, and is committed to working good in our lives.
HOW DO YOU GET GOD'S WISDOM FOR YOUR SITUATION?
So...... go somewhere very quiet, turn your heart towards God & ask Him to come close to you. Then tell Him the problem. When I’m in this situation I go for a walk, and I walk & walk until I’ve poured it all out to Him; for others, an empty house or a car ride might provide the right environment. Whatever, make sure you can speak aloud – there is something powerfully cathartic about verbalising your anxieties. And allow plenty of time. Sometimes in the past when I’ve been facing particularly distressing situations, this ‘downloading’ has taken an hour or more.
2. The next part is important. So often when we lay all our frustration or distress before the Lord, because we then feel lighter, we think that the job’s done. However, we need to hang in there and wait for Him to speak, to give us His counsel.
So having downloaded the problem, let everything become silent inside, and listen to what He says. Occasionally people hear an audible voice, but most of the time thoughts and impressions start to come into the mind: maybe a course of action, a way of dealing with the situation, or a personal attitude which needs managing. It’s important to pay attention here, even when we are quite sure the problem is entirely to do with the other person!
3. Whether a matter of irritation, or one of serious hurt, forgiveness will always be a factor in dealing with stressful relationships. You will find help for the process of forgiveness on a previous blog: FORGIVING OTHERS
4. Not only do we need the Lord’s plan, we also need His ability to carry it out. It is so easy to receive His wisdom, then skip off to put it into practice by our own efforts. Instead, we need to face up to our weaknesses, our need for His help, and ask for His power to put His plan into practice. See the page:
OVERFLOWING WITH LIFE for more on this.
Getting the Lord's wisdom is the first step into solving relationship stress. And then availing ourselves of His ability to put it into practice, enables us to walk in rest.